Waxing?

This is why I pay to have this done! I would never attempt to do it myself at home. Enjoy! Email Forward: This is funny!!Wax is not your friend! CAUTION: Be prepared to laugh out loud...I laughed till I almost cried as I could just see this happening! All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair And now...the wax. My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, and play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-haw* and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (yes, it was a long strip). I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!.... OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious... Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe... OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair, the hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake... remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DANG!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. *Hoo-ahw*?? sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop." My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? WRONG!!!!!!! I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub.... "There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hoo-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions, I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace.... the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. IT WORKS!! It works!! I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs upI successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair.... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color...... Now that's funny . Notttttttttt! Send this on to other ladies who need a good laugh!

Happy Weekend to Me!!

What a wonderful weekend!! First of all, thank you to everyone for all of the Happy Birthday and Happy Mother's day cards, emails, phone calls, etc.! I am surrounded by wonderful people!!

I got to spend Friday night doing what I love ... scrapbooking! My scrapping pals had a little "party" for me with cake & snacks at the scrapbook store. We didn't get a lot of scrapping done, but we had a great time!

I started my 36th birthday by sleeping in a little. "A little" is all you get with three kids in the house! First thing to do ... Katie's soccer game. She played well, and we think her team won (they don't officially keep score). Emily went along and entertained us all. I wish I could figure out how to get her voice on here. You just have to hear her say "socca bawl". It's too cute!! Patrick and Jacob had some guy time at Jacob's soccer practice. They would have to be at the same time!! We spent the afternoon just hanging out at home. Grandma Pat came over in the evening to watch the kids so we could go out. We started with dinner at Biaggi's. YUMMY! We split the salad and the entree so we could splurge on dessert. They have the best Creme Brulee!

After dinner we went to the QC Symphony Spring Pops Concert. They played a variety of "Americana" themed pieces in the first half. The second half the symphony played back-up to Suzy Bogguss and her band. It was fabulous! I tried to add one of her songs to give you a sample, but so far haven't been able to find one. Maybe another time!

Sunday was kind of lazy, but a really nice day. Like the rest of the weekend the weather was warm and sunny. We had an early lunch at Texas Roadhouse (one of our favorites!). Then spent a little time walking the bike path at Devil's Glen Park in Bettendorf. Then time to head home to take Jacob to his soccer game. The girls stayed home with Patrick so Em could get a nap. Jacob played his heart out for his mommy. His team has yet to score a goal, but they have dramatically improved over the last few weeks! I'm still as proud as could be! We ended the day with all of the family, having a cookout at Dawn's. It was a really nice day!

I'm adding a few pictures from the weekend. All taken with my Birthday/Mom's Day gift. YEP! Mama got a new camera!!! I'm loving it, but still trying to figure out all the fun stuff it can do. It will be nice to have for the summer with everything we have going on!!

Hope everyone is doing well!! Ta, Ta for now!!!

Ooops!!

Wow! It's been almost a month since my last post! That wasn't intentional. Sometimes "life" just gets in the way. And sometimes I have no idea what to say! YES, ME!! I sometimes don't know what to say!! I'm sure you all find that very amusing! ;) It's been a crazy month. First there was the end of Tax Season! YAY!! While Patrick remains extremely busy at work, he's home at a decent time almost every night, and is here all weekend. Katie and Jacob both started soccer. They are really having a good time, and while I'm not sure that we have any Olympic hopefuls here, they are enjoying it, and that's what really matters! In other news, Katie lost her second tooth! She now has a big gap front and center on the bottom. She's raking it in from the tooth fairy. I was lucky enough to attend a 26-hour scrapbooking event last weekend. We cropped until midnight on Friday, then again all day on Saturday, ending at midnight again. I got a lot finished in the album I'm making of my vacation to New York several years ago. I hope to get it finished up tonight. Lots of good friends, good scrapping, and of course good food!! During this time we also had a big orange dumpster in the driveway for about 12 days. We got all of the wet carpet out of the basement. Then went around and cleaned out all the "junk" that accumulates over time. We filled it up with things from the basement, garage, backyard & shed. Where does all this "stuff" come from?!?!? It felt good to get it all out. Now we just need to tackle getting all the remaining things better organized!! There aren't enough hours in the day! Big weekend coming up here! I turn 36 tomorrow. Officially closer to 40 than 30. YIKES! First birthday event will be taking Katie to her soccer game in the morning. I asked her to get some good kicks in for me, and have her team score me a birthday goal! (They are pretty good, so that shouldn't be a problem!) Patrick is taking Katie & Jacob fishing in the afternoon, giving Emily and I some quiet time. We'll either lounge around here, or head out for a little shopping. We'll see how Em's mood is! Then ... date night. Dinner, of course. Then maybe a movie. I'll have to let you know!! Of course, Sunday ... Mother's Day! We're planning a trip to the zoo in the morning (after church, of course!). Jacob has a soccer game in the afternoon. We'll be getting together with Patrick's family in the evening for a cookout at Dawn's. We still haven't finalized plans with my mom, but that will all fall into place. It always does. I hope you all enjoy a fabulous weekend! The weather here is supposed to be sunny, warm, and wonderful!! Enjoy a sinful dessert, or your favorite cocktail, in honor of my birthday! Or both!! It will be a nationwide party!! Although you may not be with me physically, you are all with me in heart and spirit!! More updates soon, I promise!!

Wacky Weather!

Has mother nature forgotten that it is April? Seriously, this is what we woke up to this morning! A 9:30 a.m. it is only 30 degrees, and a dusting of snow on the ground. I guess we should count our blessings! The forecast said 2-6 inches of the white fluff, and areas to our north did get several inches! We're just trying to stay warm, and hope that next week's forecast holds true. Sunny & 60's!! We're all ready! Once the weather improves, I plan to get out and start walking. A LOT! I can't believe we leave for our cruise in only 10 weeks!! I am very excited! But this body is not ready for shorts and bathing suits! Some of you already know that I signed up online for the SELF Challenge. If you are not familiar, SELF magazine does this every year. Challenge yourself to eat better and exercise more! The magazine gave me the kick start, and their website is full of tips for working out and eating better! I'm all signed up, have set my personal goals, and I can keep it all logged on their website to help me track my progress! So far I only have one "buddy" signed up! Anyone else care to join? I figure "the more the merrier", I can always use the moral support!! Wish me luck!! On that note, I'm going to pop in a video and try to get some exercise in today! Katie and Jacob are at school, and Emily is napping. Sound like perfect timing!

Time flies!

They say time flies when you are having fun. I'm not sure if I would call the events of the past month "fun", but the time sure did fly!! I had no idea that it has been almost a month since I last posted an update here.

It really started about a few weeks ago. We had a couple weeks of very warm weather, which melted lots of snow, and thawed the frozen ground. Then there was the week that we got more than three inches of rain in about 4 days. That's when the "fun" really started! You see, we already have a tendendcy to get a little water in our basement. Well this time, we got a LOT of water. Almost the entire basement floor was wet. Some spots had standing water. As quickly as you could sweep it toward the floor drain, it was seeping in again.

Luckily, most of the basement is not finished, and there's not much that could be damaged.

However, we do have our cherished family room. Poor Patrick worked so hard; running electricity & wiring for a sound system, hanging drywall, painting, and of course laying carpet. Well, the carpet is ruined. Water is literally squishing underneath. We have started to tear it out, but it's a long slow process. Made worse by the fact that Poor Patrick the CPA is working 12-16 hour days in the height of tax season. Only 9 more days of that, thank goodness!!

So, in the meantime, I moved the computer out of the family room, and made a temporary home for it in the dining room. Due to a wiring glitch, I was not able to get an internet connection right away, and had to wait 5 days for my friends at Mediacom to get someone out here to get it fixed! But, I'm back online now, and I must say I'm happy to be here.

This past weekend was very exciting. Not only did we celebrate Easter, Katie had a BIG moment for a girl of 6.

Yep, she lost her first tooth! It had been loose for 3 weeks. On Saturday afternoon it was really wiggling, and barely hanging on. It finally fell out while she was lying in bed that night trying to fall asleep. How lucky she was to have the Tooth Fairy AND the Easter Bunny visit on the same night!!

The Tooth Fairy was kind enough to leave her TWO of the new gold dollar coins featuring our first US President, George Washington. The Easter Bunny, of course, left a few new toys, and way too much candy!! What a great weekend!!

I think this is long enough for today. I will try to stay more current here in the future! Thanks for reading. Have a wonderful day!